Chatting with Amy Morin, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

It’s been way too long since I’ve written in this space, but I have kept up with my daily writing practice, and even published an article on mental well-being with a couple of incredible colleagues. I’ve also been using social media to post life updates for a smaller audience of friends. I’ve been reading, journaling, teaching, running, parenting, and living life joyfully. Meanwhile, blogging has remained an interest and desire in the back of my mind, so I thought I’d take some time on this snowy evening to provide readers here with an update. 

Back when I was reading a book a week, I read 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin.  I had previously read her list of 13 Things when it went viral as an article, so I excitedly added the full book to my 2015 reading list. Little did I know 2016 would be one of the most challenging years of my life. Fortunately, Morin’s book in 2015 prepped me for what was to come in 2016 and thereafter. 

Fast forward a few years to 2019 when I DM’d Amy Morin on Twitter to ask if she might write book for teachers about how we can build mental strength as educators. She graciously replied and thanked me for keeping the idea on her radar but was in the middle of a different project for kids.  The book for kids is slated to be released this April, and I encourage you to read it and share it with any children in your lives. I read an advanced preview copy.  More on that in a coming post. 

In 2020-2021 I joined colleagues with Brave Teaching Kentucky, and we started a podcast called Teacher Check-In.  I DM’d Amy Morin again and asked if she would consider being a guest on our podcast. She said yes, and I had the distinct honor to chat with her earlier this week. 

Our conversation is targeted at educators, but anyone could benefit from listening if you’re interested in mental strength. Check it out here.

Air Force Marathon Race Recap: Running My First Marathon

Last Saturday, after 18 weeks of diligent training, I ran my first full marathon. Running 26.2 on September 21, 2019 in Dayton Ohio required perseverance, endurance, and stamina. Thankfully, the Air Force Marathon was well supported and staffed. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. Well, I would gladly have given away the HOT temperatures we ran in, but that wasn't anything Air Force Marathon could have changed. They did provide adequate support for the extreme temperatures.

Race Goal: Finish my first marathon upright

The Expo

The Air Force Marathon Expo offered hundreds of vendors with gear, nutrition, other races, and local information. We visited briefly, and I posed in front of the giant 26.2 and told myself I couldn't share that photo until after I ran 26.2. I picked up my bib and stopped by The Running Wife booth to see my friend and running coach, Ashleigh Freda. Ashleigh and Kathryn wished me well and handed me a bag of Honey Stinger nutrition and a 26.2 magnet to be placed on my car only after I finished the race.

Local Bakery

After the Expo, we headed to Dayton's historic district and St. Anne the Tart Bakery. If you visit Dayton, be sure to check out St. Anne.  You will experience a creative and comfortable environment with plenty of natural lighting for a peaceful afternoon (or morning) treat. We arrived on the last day of their summer menu and I enjoyed a raspberry tart and sparking water (hydration!) while my husband sipped a latte and ate a brownie.

Night before the race

I began calming my nerves by re-reading excerpts from Deena Kastor's book Let Your Mind Run: A Memoir of Thinking My Way to Victory and writing in my journal around 8 pm when I also drank more water and a cup of chamomile tea. In usual fashion, I laid out my race clothing, gear, and nutrition, and double checked my music playlist to be sure I had added the songs recommended by my students.

Race Morning

Up by 3:45 am feeling nervous but ready. I ate my usual half of a bagel with peanut butter, drank 8 ounces of water and 4 ounces of Shield before 5am. Took a cold shower, applied sunscreen, got dressed and packed up everything since we planned to drive home after the race. We left the hotel 2 hours before the race was to begin, plenty of time we thought. As we approached the Woodman Gate entrance to park, we stalled to almost a standstill in traffic for nearly an hour, and I grew more nervous about having enough time to get through security and to the start line. Ample deep breathing and internal self-talking kept me sane. As soon as we pulled into the grassy field to park, it started raining. Thankfully, Ashleigh had warned me to cover my feet for parking in the grass since the morning dew would keep it wet until after we started the race. I had also grabbed a trash bag and placed it in my go-bag. I used plastic grocery sacks around my feet and the trash bag on my upper half to stay dry for the next 30-40 minutes. Made it through security and a quick pit stop in plenty of time to enter my starting coral before 7:30. And then, the lightening started, and they announced a lightening delay. 30 minutes later we saw an aircraft flyover and fireworks. I was ready to go...but then...more lightening and another delay.

I crossed the start line at 8:35 am, an hour later than I should have started if the race had begun on time. No time to worry about what this would mean for the temperatures later in the day; it was time to run. Since I generally use Map My Run to track my pace and miles, I decided to forgo it because I worried it would drain my phone battery, and I really wanted to have music while I ran and access to my phone if I needed it. Instead, I looked at the time on my Fitbit to gauge my general pace. I finished mile 1 at 9:45 am. "Cool. a ten minute mile. Oh. wait. Not cool at all." That was WAY too fast for me in my first mile of running 26.2. I needed to average something closer to 13 minutes since I had 25 miles to go. I slowed down a bit but still felt the high energy and ran my first 5K in 33 minutes. Still too fast. My confidence started to waver a bit knowing I still had so many miles to run and had already made major mistakes in my start.

I looked down at the words I had written on my handheld water bottle and a smile crossed my face. One mile at a time. Run the Mile You're In. Choose Joy. Happy, stronger, confident, loving, peaceful, survivor, leader. These last 7 words were sent to me by Ashleigh a few days earlier. I remembered to smile and enjoy my first marathon.

Wear Blue Mile to Remember. During the Wear Blue Mile to Remember honoring fallen service members, I felt grateful and patriotic. I ran here without music out of respect for the fallen.  Flags flying, bells ringing, and volunteers cheering made for a quick mile. Grateful.

At the full marathon/half-marathon split, I remember thinking...there's no turning back...here we go...I felt confident and strong and was still running a bit too fast, I think. I made a pit stop at mile 4 because I should have done that again during the delay of the race start, and I was afraid I would stop drinking water if I felt like I needed to go. It was a quick stop, and as I exited the porta potty, a Galloway Run-Walk-Run pace group was going by with a 6 hour finish sign. So, I decided...maybe I should attach myself to this group. For the next two miles I ran and walked with the pace group, and it felt terrible. It was a mistake for me because, while I wasn't opposed to walking, the group (not the pacers themselves) but the others had "pixie dust" mentality bragging on how they hadn't trained and the longest run they had completed had been 12 miles. This pulled me down mentally more than I'd like to admit. I decided to lose the group and run. my. own. pace. Why wasn't I trusting my training? Why was I all over the place and wavering in my confidence? Once I was on my own again, I felt better. I listened to my music and trusted my training and gave thanks to God for helping me overcome so much in my life.

10K-13.1 miles.  I had signed up for the alerts, so when I crossed 10K, I knew I was on track and had slowed down enough to run my own pace at a respectable time. (The mile 4 pit stopped helped too). Thankfully, the sun was still behind the clouds, and I ran the next five miles with relative ease.

Then, the sun emerged from behind the clouds and the aid stations changed their weather alert from moderate (less than ideal conditions) to high (potentially dangerous conditions). I started worrying they would cancel the race and I started worrying that I wouldn't get to finish. I crossed the halfway mark in a time faster than a 13.1 race I ran earlier in the summer, so I was still feeling confident in my ability to finish, even though it was growing hotter by the hour. I had been taking water at every single aid station, and I switched to Gatorade, knowing I would have difficulty consuming the nutrition I had brought with me. I forced myself to eat half of a Honey Stinger waffle at the half-way mark.

Fairborn Fly Zone
Before the start of the race, my husband and I planned for when I would see him at the spectator zone. He boarded the spectator bus from the start line to Fairborn and the spectator zone for miles 14-15. I looked forward to seeing him there and having a chance to change into my sun glasses and apply more sunscreen. However, the logistics of the rides to and from the start line did not account for a delay in the race starting, so by mile 13, I knew it was unlikely he'd still be there when I reached the Fly Zone. In fact, he was gone as were most of the spectators.  A church band and a few spectators stayed behind for those of us toward the back of the pack. Grateful. The DJ remained as did the announcer, and I heard them announce my name Renee Boss from Lexington KY. I felt confident and proud and happy to be able to run. Made my last pit stop. I forced myself to consume one HoneyStinger gel, but knew that would likely be all I could handle in nutrition for the remainder of the race because it was just too hot to eat. I did, however, keep drinking at each aid station and carried a hand held water bottle for both squeezing on my head and arms and for drinking if I needed water in between the aid stations. Many of the aid station volunteers offered to fill my water bottle for me time and time again. The volunteers and aid stations at this race were phenomenal.

Mile 16. The first time I thought about quitting. My training took me to 16 miles three times and up to 20 miles, so the distance wasn't bothering me, but my training all summer was largely on shaded trails near my home, so the intensity of the sun without shade began wearing on me relentlessly, and I thought for the first time that I might like to stop running. Actually, I started thinking about excuses..."Maybe they would cancel the race and then they could come pick me up in their golf cart and it wouldn't be my fault that I didn't finish." The thought was both refreshing and saddening. I sucked it up (thanks to my sister for telling me the Embrace the Suck mantra) and pressed onward, knowing deep down that I would be disappointed in myself if I gave up.

Miles 17-20 I ran with a husband and wife team who were pulled off the course last year when the race was black flagged. They said they had been following me for miles and were glad to finally catch up with me. My pace had slowed significantly. We talked and ran and walked and ran and pressed on through the historic Air Force Commanders housing and sprinklers. We accepted sponges and water. We encouraged one another. We felt grateful for more incredible aid station volunteers.

Miles 21-23 Up hill over a highway. I knew it was coming, but I had forgotten about it because I was thinking too much about being too hot. Ideally, I would have used my visualization strategies and taken myself to a cool mountain in Alaska or something, but at this point I wasn't even listening to my music, I was just trudging on and trying to remind myself to Choose Joy. I ran into another man who was in the back of pack like me, talking to himself. I heard him say "I'm so proud of myself right now." I smiled and I turned around and said to him--"That's right. You should be proud of yourself." Grateful.

Shortly after mile 23, I ran into a pacer who had fallen off track and had given up her pacing duties because she was struggling in the heat. This was a woman who had run many marathons and ultra marathons, including a marathon she finished in 4:30. She was bent over struggling, and I stopped to ask if she was okay. She straightened up and we started talking as I held her pace stick while she filled her handheld water bottle with ice. I was holding my ice on my back which had started hurting like nobody's business. She started asking me questions and I asked her questions and we passed the next mile talking and keeping one another company.

Mile 24. The second time I thought about quitting. At this point, my pace had slowed significantly and I began to worry that I would receive a DNF for not finishing by the 7 hour cut-off time. I told my new friend, Janelle, I was ready to be carried off the race on the golf carts, if my time wasn't going to count anyway, why even bother going another 2 miles?  I was hurting physically and mentally. I was ready to be DONE. Thankfully, we saw another Air Force service member just a few minutes later, and we asked him if we were going to be swept off the course. He assured us that we were well within the time allotted to finish, and I started crying. Crying out of gratefulness. Crying out of pain. Crying because I wanted it to be over already. Then Janelle said to me-- "pro-tip--save the crying for after the race because it's hard to cry and run and breathe at the same time." My tears stopped and we continued with Janelle telling me that we would finish together because now that she knew this was my first marathon, she wasn't going to let me quit.

Miles 24-25. Grateful. So grateful for Janelle, her company and her encouraging words. Grateful to be running. Grateful to be a survivor. Grateful for my sisters and brother in law for the texts they kept sending to encourage me (I could read them on my Fitbit). Grateful for my running club knowing they were cheering for me. Grateful for my students who I knew would ask me about the race. Grateful for my sons who I knew would be proud of me. Grateful for my husband who was sitting and standing outside in the heat all day long waiting for me to cross this finish line.

Mile 26. I could see the finish line and dreamed of sprinting across. I had told Janelle this dream, and she said to me "See that C-17 plane? When you get there--you need to take off running across the finish line." We approached the line of planes and I took out my phone to take a picture. My husband was there on the sidelines clapping and smiling. I got to the C-17 and ran triumphantly across the finish line raising my arms high above my head and bursting into tears as the Air Force service members handed me my medal and shook my hand. Finished. I did it. I am a marathoner!

______
P.S. The more I reflect on this post, the more I find myself wanting to shout from a mountain top how happy and grateful I am for the support from The Running Wife Club. Ashleigh and all the women in the running club not only supported me but tracked me all day and sent one another messages when they received the alerts about my progress. These women are friends, fellow runners, and all around amazing people. SO---wherever you live, feel free to join The Running Wife virtual run club. Members live all around the USA and support one another for all levels of running.

Run the Mile You're In: My Review of the Book and Personal Anecdotes

Before I started running three short years ago, I read books and articles and watched films about runners, and I dreamed of running but didn't imagine it actually happening, until that one day when I took the first step and laced up my shoes and headed out the door, unable to run even a block before stopping to walk. Ever since I can remember I've been interested in stories of perseverance and overcoming obstacles. I've devoured books and articles and films. I've wondered how people press forward. I've discovered that in all of the stories I've read about persevering, there's always a larger sense of purpose--a bigger WHY for doing what you do. A sense of purpose is exactly what Ryan Hall describes in his newest book Run the Mile You're In.

Several weeks ago when I saw the call for applications to serve on a book launch team for Hall's book Run the Mile You're In, I jumped at the opportunity. Gratefully, I was selected as one of the readers to receive an advanced digital copy of the book so I could read and write a review in preparation for the book's release on April 16th. My short review came after reading and reflecting on the book.

Cleverly divided into 26 chapters, Ryan Hall’s fast-paced book run the mile you’re in inspires and motivates through stories of his incredible life as a student athlete and then professional runner. Woven throughout the expressive life stories you will find Bible verses that connect to the stories he tells about his life and running career.
If you’re not a runner, there’s inspiration in Hall’s amazing stories of listening to God for direction guidance. And if you are a runner you’ll be motivated by Hall‘s dedication to the mental and physical challenges that running can bring. One of the best quotes in the book is “comparison sucks the life out of what we are doing. We are all on a beautiful journey, so let us be thankful for every step, even if our journey looks different from someone else’s.”

Graphic courtesy of launch team.

Fortunately, I read the book prior to several 10+ mile events I ran because I heard in my head mantras and wisdom from Hall and his references to scriptures that helped me push through discomfort and low points during those runs. Those were my "come-back" runs as far as I was concerned.

I needed a come-back run for myself. When my radiologist told me in November that I would eventually run a half-marathon again, I wanted nothing more than to believe her and to realize that dream. After all, I had worked hard to run and improve my pace while running and I maintained a running routine during my radiation treatments, but I also lost speed and mileage following surgery and during recovery. When on March 30th, I ran my first half-marathon post surgery/radiation, I found myself beginning with the comparison game again. 

Then I remembered these lines from Run the Mile You're In,  "...the best way to compete is to strive for personal excellence...comparisons in athletics and in life are so fruitless. When we compare we miss the joy of the journey as well as the joy of the achievement (p. 99)."

Joy--isn't that what I'm always aiming to choose? Yes. Absolutely, yes. I literally gave thanks to God in that moment for the fact that I was even at mile 9 (If if you're at all familiar with Run the Bluegrass, you'll know that mile 9 is infamous for its hill. Actually, the whole course is known for its hills and that's typically one of the things I like best about it).

Sure, I didn't beat my time from last year, but I did "flip [a negative] thought into a true and encouraging statement that...ignited hope in my spirit (p. 83)." I chose then to focus on love over fear and to run the mile I was in.

Wearing pink to honor my journey. #choosejoy

NOTE: I highly recommend Run the Mile You're In (marked here with post-it tabs because I needed an example of how much I wanted my students to mark up with sticky notes their independent reading books--they liked my example) I also highly recommend Run the Bluegrass--America's Prettiest Half-Marathon. I've run it three times now, and it's the best!

NOTE: One of the privileges of serving on the book launch team was that we had the opportunity to attend Facebook Live events with Ryan Hall, and at one such event, I asked if he had any advice for those of us who entered running in mid-life, and he graciously responded, telling us it's just about a delayed running life and we have a training age and biological age--a chance to get faster and keep getting PRs and improving, so it's all about progress!

Up & Moving with a Physical Barometer Debate in the Classroom

Sipping our tea and coffee my teacher friend and I chatted about how our students need more access to high quality discussions and debates. I had recently wrapped up a physical barometer debate with my students, and in their written reflections of the learning experience, I noticed how several students thought the debate wasn’t fun because it was too structured and didn’t allow them to speak whenever they wanted. There were other students (the majority), however, who enjoyed the debate experience and offered reflection on how the structure helped them learn better to share their thoughts and opinions confidently and safely without fear of being attacked for their opinions. It also afforded them the opportunity to be up and moving.

The whole debate activity came about naturally. As I’ve written about before, students in my classes write daily in their journals to build habits of mind associated with disciplined writers. The journal topic for the day came from a recent tweet by the Prichard Committee’s Student Voice Team who had been in Frankfort speaking out about corporal punishment that still occurs in some of Kentucky’s public schools. I showed a screenshot of the tweet to my students and asked for their opinion on the topic. Most students in my classes were incredulous about the issue. Even those who thought paddling is okay, wondered how could it be true that in 2019 students are still punished by paddling?

Interestingly enough, my classes were almost equally split on the issue, with more boys thinking corporal punishment is an effective deterrent against breaking school rules and more girls finding it mentally, emotionally and physically harmful. However, not all boys agreed with paddling and not all girls disagreed with it. I honestly didn’t expect the class to be so equally divided nor did I plan to hold a physical barometer debate that day. But as you know, sometimes teachable moments just present themselves. We had been studying speeches and rhetorical appeals and techniques, so the debate went along with our overall lesson objectives. Because it happened so naturally, students were 100% authentically engaged throughout the debate.

Here’s how things went down for our physical barometer debate

Preparation
Students wrote individually in their own journals first, giving reasons to support their opinion on the topic. Then I had them congregate in two large groups (13 + people in each group) standing around two white boards at each end of the room, one group in the back, and the other group in the front. The goal was for them to state their claim and then list as many pieces of evidence as they could create, making sure they had at least one piece of evidence for each person in their group. They also had to think about what the other group might present as counterarguments. I set a timer and they began working, collaboratively and thoughtfully. I told them they had to keep each other on task, and they rose to the occasion, with the more extroverted students taking the lead and pulling in some of the introverts and with the natural leaders pulling in stragglers who really wanted to spy on the other group.

After the groups had time to develop reasons and evidence, they assigned each person in the group with a piece of that evidence to state when their turn arrived in the physical barometer debate. They also wrote an opening statement and determined who would deliver it, and finally, they selected the person to speak last, and that person had to be prepared to listen carefully and offer the final wrap up and rebuttal of the other team's ideas.

Connections to rhetorical techniques being studied
Because we've been analyzing various speeches for rhetorical techniques, I asked students to think about how they could use some of those techniques (Ethos, Pathos, Logos, Repetition, Parallelism, and Allusion) in their presentation of their evidence during the debate.

The actual debate
Students stood in two long lines, shoulder to shoulder facing the other team (with about 3 feet in between them). The first student from Team A stepped forward one step and stated her/his opening statement in favor of paddling in schools. Then the first student from Team B stepped forward one step and stated his/her opening statement against paddling in schools. After the first two stated their claim, they stepped back and the next two students from Team A and Team B stepped forward and presented the first piece of evidence, and we continued along down the line until every group member had an opportunity to speak. At this point, even the more reticent students were confident enough to speak, and the structure made it easier for them to participate. Only one person could talk at a time, and each team had to listen attentively to the other team's ideas.

Since Team B had 3 more members than Team A, some Team A members had to speak more than once before the final Team A and Team B members provided the rebuttal and wrap up.

Reflection following the debate
After the debate while students made their way back to their seats, I quickly typed up and projected on the screen reflection questions for students to provide written responses about their experience.

1) What did you think about the physical barometer debate?
2) How did your team do?
3) How did you effectively use rhetorical techniques in your debate?
4) What lingering comments do you have that you must mention?

What I thought worked
In typical NBCT analytical fashion, I spent time thinking about what worked and what didn't work in this lesson. Overall, I think the physical barometer debate worked really well, especially since we're working on scaffolding students oral speaking opportunities before they deliver full argumentative speeches later this month. The physical barometer debate provided another small step for reticent speakers. I also think the strategy allowed for students to listen carefully to one another, something that we all need more and more practice doing these days. I like that students had the opportunity to stand and move about the room. I like that the activity brought the class together even while they debated. There was sense of camaraderie among the students.

What I thought could be better
I would like to create success criteria for a physical barometer debate, so if we do this on the fly again in the future, I have the success criteria ready to share with students in advance. I might also have students work in smaller groups first, with each student having a role to play and then run two debates simultaneously so there could be more back and forth on rebuttals. Maybe I would do that? Maybe not. I'm always experimenting with new possibilities. What about you? How have you used physical barometer debates in your classrooms?

Have Fun Out There: Reflections on My First Trail Race

As the Golden Gate Trail Half-Marathon (Winter) approaches, I'm taking time to reflect on my own running journey. Three years ago this week I started running, and I thought it appropriate to reflect on my running history by re-reading excerpts from my journals over the past three years. Reflections from my most adventurous race to date were the most fun to read. I ran the Golden Gate Trail Half-Marathon (Summer) in Sausalito, California and saw it as a personal endurance challenge.

Here's what I wrote in my journal following the race on July 7th, 2018.

I can't believe I did this, but it was totally amazing. Sometimes I just want to test myself to see what I'm capable of doing--I did it! I ran 13.1 miles in a trail half-marathon.

So--the breakdown.

I was up by 4:45 am. I didn't sleep super well but slept plenty. Wicked nervous stomach--scared too--scared that I was in over my head, that I would be the last person to finish, that it would take me 5 or 6 hours, but also I was ready and confident that I could go the distance, even if it took a really long time.

At 5:15 I woke up Ethan [My 17 year-old son was also running the race]. We both ate bagels with honey and peanut butter that we got from the breakfast bar at the hotel the day before and saved them in our room. Because of my nervous stomach, I only ate half a bagel, drank 2 ounces of hot tea, 4 ounces of water and 2 ounces of Gatorade. [We carried Clif Bloks with us and water for in-between the aid stations].

My husband dropped us off at Rodeo Beach at 6:30 am and we picked up our bibs and milled around a bit, stretching and waiting, looking at the ocean.

The 50K and 30K runners took off at 7:00 am and the marathon and half-marathon runners at 7:15 with the 5 milers starting after us. [There were some moments when I asked myself if I should have dropped down to the 5 mile race]. As we lined up, my nerves were calmer, but I was still somewhat in disbelief of what I was about to do.

Elevation for the 1/2 marathon

A younger woman and her partner asked me about the ribbon colors to confirm the trail we were to follow. I remember with confidence, because I was afraid of getting lost, pink for the half marathon, blue=wrong way & polka dots = a turn.

Ready, Set, Go, and we were off with an immediate steep climb. I ran slowly for a few hundred feet before I started hiking. Up, up, up, we climbed. Ethan was ahead of me, of course, and when I looked far above on the mountain, I noticed that even he was hiking. In fact, everyone was hiking. The first two miles were all uphill and they took me about 40 minutes. My first mile was 24 minutes. At this point, I began some serious internal positive self-talk because I was thinking I'd be out there past dark at that rate. Thankfully, I read Deena Kastor's book Let Your Mind Run: A Memoir of Thinking My Way to Victory on the plane, so I had plenty of positive mindset mantras to recite.

2 miles up, up, up

Then there was an opportunity to run on a dirt and gravel trail, and I ran for a while picking up speed before some downhill where I slowed again because of a feeling that I'd fall and tumble right on down the hill head first--yikes! But it was an exciting feeling at the same time. Here's the crazy thing--I kept noticing animal scat and in my horse country Kentucky mindset kept wondering how on earth they would ride horses in that area. It was only later (thankfully) that I realized it was likely not horse scat I saw, but rather bobcat or mountain lion. SO glad I didn't think about that while I was out there running my first trail race.

I had brief moments of wonder for how long my run was going to be, but everyone was so positive and encouraging with a focused "Have Fun Out There" attitude--amazing!

Even the bibs were encouraging

Around mile 5, shortly after the first aid station (where I stopped to relieve myself) I was hiking up another steep gravel road and I kept hearing a clicking sound. I looked to my left and I saw a fox (at least that's what I think it was) staring back at me. I hiked faster and faster and started talking aloud to myself and praying because I wasn't sure it was a fox and I was scared and not super happy that I was alone at that point--but onward and upward, talking to myself!

Eventually some people running the ultra loops started passing me, and I felt better with others in closer proximity, but I was mostly still alone. I didn't even listen to my music at all because I wanted to see and hear my surroundings, the other runners and nature, too.

Sometime around miles 6-8 I was high up above the Golden Gate Bridge and then in a lush green jungle looking area before more dirt paths and then a wildlife area with a sign that read "Wildlife Preservation Area--please move through this area quickly and return to the fire road." No need to tell me twice. I ran FAST through that area and to the next road where I started encountering a few more runners and then at mile 10 there was another steep climb up and toward a youth hostel and potentially more wildlife.

Single footpath for a couple more miles and the last mile of the race was near the lagoon and ocean. Here my watch battery died at mile 12.5. It saved my run, I hoped, anyway. As I approached the beach I saw my husband waiting for me and other runners who were finished cheering and ringing a cowbell for all who passed. Again--positive, fun, encouraging.

I finished with a smile on my face. As I crossed the finish line someone said "Good job, Renee" and handed me a medal. Later I learned my finish time was 3:34 (an hour longer than my usual road race half-marathon times--I'm not fast, but I can endure). Ethan finished 25 minutes before me. He ran a half-trail marathon with little training (Not advisable, he'd later say). His half-marathon road race time is 1:42. We both like to challenge ourselves, and share common traits of determination, persistence, and endurance. Wow--the things you can do when you set your mind to it!

Happy, Accomplished, Tired, and Dirty

Mon & son all cleaned up & ready for a
family feast at a local restaurant

Tips for Recovering from Hurry Sickness

Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention. 

Be Astonished.

Tell about it.

---from Mary Oliver's poem Sometimes

After a middle of the night Emergency Room visit for my son and the hurry to create sub plans for my students earlier this week, I found myself asking--why am I always rushing around?  Always is hyperbole because I have managed to slow down the mental rush in the past three years. Even still, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of to-do lists, tasks to accomplish, and goals to tackle on a daily basis.

Learning to slow down and become more mindful has not come easily for me, yet the more I've learned to embrace life and enjoy every moment, the more I have lived with joy, hope, peace, and optimism, even in difficult moments.

Tips for Recovering from Hurry Sickness

1. Be mindful of that rushed feeling. Pause and listen. Pay attention to the moment.
In my classroom, I use at Pause and Listen as a call and response technique when I need to gain students' attention after they've been working collaboratively. I say "pause" and they reply "and listen." Prior to this year, I had never used a call and response technique, but I'm liking it because it works and it reminds us all to literally pause and listen for a minute.

2. Be realistic and accept help from others when it's offered, and set guidelines for what you can do instead of layering on more. In other words--say no more often. Three years ago I was stressed to the max with work, networking, and professional pursuits, caught up in the rat race that even educators succumb to at times. (e.g. If I could just get one more conference proposal accepted, schedule one more PD webinar, fly to one more meeting across the country, facilitate one more workshop, speak at another convention, write one more contract, draft one more article, etc.)

3. Create a gratitude list. Be specific with it. Something as simple as noticing the beautiful sky on a cold morning can change the way you feel at a given moment. Driving to work one day this week, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a gorgeous sunrise. I took that moment and allowed myself to feel grateful for the beauty and that gratefulness led to more feelings of gratitude as I noticed how much I appreciated the solitude on my drive, and then when I arrived at school, someone held the door open for me, and then a student brought me artwork she created for our kindness and gratitude bulletin board. One moment of gratitude led to many more moments of gratefulness throughout my day. 

Releasing Judgment

Standing in the hallway of my new school, on a break during a professional development day for new teachers, I listened to the nurse navigator as she relayed the news “you have cancer... I know you’re starting a new job and have limited time available, so I set up appointments with a surgeon and an oncologist for after school...”  I called my husband and knew there were others to call, but I needed to get back into the PD session.  I returned to the classroom and went through the motions for the remainder of our day while in my mind asking “why me? Why now?”

And then the self-judging took over. I compared myself to others, and I continued to ask why this was happening. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I run half-marathons. I eat nutritious foods. I lost 50 pounds in 3 years and maintain a healthy weight. I go for my annual check-ups. I am healthy and I feel better than ever. Why me?

Instead of trusting that it was all part of the plan for my life, I let fear rule, and I judged myself and my journey. It’s easy to do, and difficult to stop. I’ve been thinking more lately about judgment and ways and reasons for releasing it. Releasing judgment is an ongoing process, one in which I cycle in and out.

When we judge ourselves, we bring more stress and suffering thinking we’re not doing enough, being enough, etc. We “should” on ourselves, telling ourselves what we should or should not do. Judgment comes from fear, a fear that we are not worthy, but we are worthy. By surrendering ourselves to a higher power, we can find inner peace and freedom from judgment.

How do we release judgment?

• We understand that we don’t have all the answers.
• We remain flexible and open-minded, accepting of ourselves and others.
• We change our language and avoid dwelling on our mistakes.
• We practice compassion and remember that compassion and judgment cannot co-exist.
• We remember that we can't always believe what we think, especially about our need to be right.
• We value individuality and uniqueness.

What happens when we forget to do these things? We avoid dwelling on the negative or the fact that we believe we've fallen off track.  We acknowledge it, accept it, and move forward, forgiving ourselves and releasing judgment.

#ChooseJoy

5 Important Lessons Learned in 2018

If this best nine image looks a bit sloppy, it’s a perfect representation of 2018. Beautiful and messy. We often showcase the best "Instagram worthy" images to represent our lives, and I would contend that's fine as long as we remember there's always more to an image than meets the eye. Life is about perspective.

From switching teaching jobs, to supporting a son with an often debilitating illness, to surviving treatment for breast cancer, some might say 2018 was a tough year for me, and I wouldn’t disagree. But, I’ve also learned deeply about life.

Here's my perspective on what I learned in 2018.

1) Life is messy and beautiful and worth living.

Amidst the day to day living, you really never do know how much time you have on earth, so make the most it. Love fiercely, take risks, and say “no” if you don’t or can’t really do something.

2) Inspire others by being the best version of yourself.

Live authentically. Define your values. Keep an open mind. Remember, who you are evolves and changes because you are a work in progress, so you can only be the best version of yourself that you are at any given moment, and that's okay.

3) People you never expect to help often step forward to offer support, and people you expect to help might not.

When life obstacles come our way, keep your expectations for others in check because unrealistic expectations of others can lead to more hurt or over-thinking. Why didn't _____help out? I never would have expected ___to be so generous.

4) Commit to process over an event/milestone.

When life is going well or not going well, it's easy to get excited or to become eager about the next event or milestone. If, however, you commit to process rather than the event/milestone, you can develop a system of healthy habits and daily living that helps you throughout life. This means you need to understand your WHY (your motivation) for what you are doing. Why are you training for a half-marathon? Why are you saving money for a family vacation? Why are you cleaning up after the dog for the umpteenth time today? Why are you taxiing your kids all over town to meet up with their friends over Christmas Break?

5) The greatest gift you can offer others is your own joy and inner peace. 

Remember that you are uniquely and wonderfully made. You are loved. You are supported and protected. Remember that JOY is an attitude that requires courage, commitment, and strength. Even if you feel like you're lacking in those areas, you can choose where you place your focus. You can choose to be grateful for small things and in those small things you find more courage, strength, and commitment. #ChooseJoy

The Best Quotes from The Pursuit of Endurance by Jennifer Pharr Davis

Several years ago I read Cheryl Strayed's Wild while visiting family in Western North Carolina. My sister, Beth, an avid backpacker and hiker, told me about a woman who hiked the entire Appalachian Trail in under 47 days. "Impossible." I remember saying to her. "It takes months to hike the AT." Beth persisted in telling me about Jennifer Pharr Davis, who had recently won a National Geographic Adventurer of the Year award for setting the Fastest Known Time (FKT) on the Appalachian Trail in 2011. Following my conversation with Beth, I read numerous hiking narratives because I wanted to understand how it was humanly possible to hike 2, 189 miles in less than two months.

In the dozen or so books I read about hiking, I learned about endurance, persistence, grit and transformation. My interest in these topics goes back to my childhood and a volleyball team my mom wouldn't let me quit (but that's a story for another time). In May as the final weeks of school wrapped up for the year, I read two new books The Pursuit of Endurance: Harnessing the Record-Breaking Power of Strength and Resilience by Jennifer Pharr Davis and North: Finding My Way While Running the Appalachian Trail by Scott Jurek. Both were exceptionally written and awe inspiring, but I related more with aspects of Pharr Davis's book because of my connections to Western North Carolina. Not only does my family live there, but I lived there, taught there, hiked there, birthed my children there.

This week, I returned to The Pursuit of Endurance because the well-researched approach and embedded narrative resonated with me. I marked passages and selected quotes for motivation and inspiration. Here I'm sharing some of my favorites because I bet they'll resonate with you, too, especially if you need a little Monday Motivation (or any other day of the week motivation). Hopefully, you'll take away not only a quote for motivation, but a desire to read the full book.

Photo Credit: Ethan Boss 

Quotes for when it feels like you're failing and life all around you is crumbling

"When it feels as if you are constantly losing and everything good is slipping away, it is difficult to muster the strength to keep trying again and again. But endurance is the ability to continue despite past results and with disregard for future outcomes (107)."

"When you have failed over and over again, the decision to keep moving forward is not derived from reason but driven by hope (108)."

"If you never fail then you haven't set your goals high enough (139)." 

"Don't be afraid of failure. Endurance is failure after failure, after failure (295)."

Quotes for learning more about yourself

"The thing about a long, grueling journey is that it strips away who you're not and allows you to discover what's left--or who's left (165)."

"One damn good reason to pursue endurance--and choose suffering--is to get to know yourself inside and out. When you reach that moment where you gave more than you thought you had and accomplished more than you thought you could, it's clear who you are (165)."

"The best way to move forward is not to forsake the past, but to forgive it--and yourself (174)."

Quotes for when you're judging yourself or others

"Go outside, take a walk with someone different from you (295)."

"My rule of thumb is that you never judge someone else's pace or form because you don't know how far they've come and what they're still planning to do (299)."

"The essence of endurance will never be defined by rules and categories; it will be distinguished by the stories of the unique individuals who blaze the trail 293)." 

"The hurt we experience in life might never fully go away; it could ebb and flow for an eternity. You can make progress and appreciate the times when life isn't much of a struggle. And you can pray, and cry, and wrestle through the rest (293)." 

"It behooves us to not come to quick conclusions about other people's paths and instead approach each individual with encouragement and compassion. We might be on different trails, but we are all mid-journey (300)." 

Quotes for when you feel like you can't keep going

"When life feels hopeless, or unfair or completely out of my control, I remember the new opportunities and experiences and encounters that arise when you are willing to take one more step (201)."

"We exist only as long as we persist. And there is confounding hope and limitless possibility in our ability to rise up, change direction, and take one more step (302)."

"It is okay to fall short, it is okay to let people down, it is okay to hurt and suffer, it is okay to stop when you can't go any farther. But don't give up on yourself, your goals, or the people around you (296)."

Quotes for remembering that you have a choice

"Endurance isn't accepting the trail you're on, it's choosing it (245)."

"Our resilience is proved in trying circumstances and exhibited by accepting a challenge. Choosing to tackle difficult situations will help us better navigate the ones that are forced on us (293)."

"Feeling stuck is no excuse for staying where you are. Life is hard; struggle is guaranteed, but you can exercise your right to choose where and how to struggle (299)."

Photo Credit: Ethan Boss

Quotes for remembering that YOU MATTER

"You can't let public opinion determine the worth of your journey (281)." 

"Endurance, even amid a competition, is still an individual journey. Everyone takes part in a unique struggle and at some point, you will need to unlock your own secrets in order to keep going (198)."

"You can't let public opinion determine the worth of your journey (281)."  

"I remind myself that sometimes you are so consumed by the task at hand that you don't realize that you are on your way to accomplishing something amazing (201)."

"The AT emits wisdom.
There is a palpable maturity
that wafts
 through the ancient
 granite and the exposed,
gnarled roots of the spruce trees (132)."

Read my review of Becoming Odyssa for Sip & Slice Blog.

The Important Lesson I Learned When I Stayed Inside to Teach During the Student Walkout

I am sometimes known for being outspoken on issues that matter to me, and without a doubt I am a huge supporter of students’ voices being heard in education. So, when I learned that I would be one of the teachers at my school to stay inside and teach during the student walkout earlier this week, I’ll have to admit I was initially disappointed. I wanted to be outside to see students exercise their rights to peaceful assembly and their rights to freedom of speech. I wanted to see students lead the program honoring lives lost to senseless gun violence. I wanted to be part of a program I believe in--to stand in solidarity on issues that matter to me.

But, of course, I followed the plans provided by our leaders. Thank goodness they knew what to expect from our community, and they planned for scenarios where people would oppose the student walkout—that was hard me to imagine, but it turned out to be true.

Since I teach during the time of the planned walkout, I wasn't one of the 2nd block teachers who headed outside into the below freezing weather to monitor students and attend the event. Rather, I showed up to my 2nd block class wondering if I’d have any students or if they’d all be outside. I thought about how I, too, would be able to go outside if all of my students went out. Slowly, a handful of students trickled into the classroom. They were quiet and waiting to learn what we would be doing while most of the others were outside. 

I watched their faces and tried not to pry for reasons why they chose to stay inside. Some students were vocal, telling me without my asking that they chose to stay inside for political reasons. A couple more chimed in saying it was too cold outside, and two others kept their eyes down and pulled out their journals. I took my cue from them. At that moment when I wanted so desperately to discuss what was going on outside, I refrained. 

Instead, as I do each block, I wrote the journal prompt (related to the texts we’re reading) on the board and told students we’d proceed without interrupting our normal routine. They wrote silently in their journals because that’s what we do at the start of every class. We’re developing habits of disciplined writers, and clearly, the routine writing practice is working because they know to expect it and they keep producing thoughts and insights. 

On Wednesday morning when I looked at the faces of my students, I realized those were the faces that mattered to me at that moment. Those were the tentative-feeling teens waiting to see how their teacher would carry on. Those were the students who were expecting the adult in the room to set the tone. Those were the students who selected to exercise their freedom of choice not to participate in the walkout. Their rights were important too.

This morning as I wrote in my journal and reflected on Wednesday's events, I thought about the slogan the students at our school developed for the walkout--Love Generally--a play on our school's mascot The Generals. I also contemplated a quote in my morning reading and meditation time, a quote from Henri Nouwen: “In love there is no room for fear.” 

My hope is that I love a little harder and fear a little less.

2 Years of Running and Life Perspective 2.0

My running journey started two years ago--February 6th, 2016 to be exact.

Lacing up an old pair of athletic shoes, tears streaming down my face, hurt and anger raging in my head, I raced out the front door. I ran only one block before stopping to walk on that cold brisk February day. Out of breath and with my whole body aching, I called a friend and kept walking and talking.

Within days of learning life-changing traumatic news, I resolved to run my first 5K. Since running my first 5K April 30th, 2016, I've run over 1,500 miles (including two half-marathons), lost 50 pounds, and gained a whole new perspective on life.

Crossing the finish line Sept. 2017

Life perspective 2.0

Be determined.

Seriously. Determination. To run long distances you have to be determined. You learn not to give up. You press on, even when you want to stop. You tell yourself, one foot in front of the other. One mile at a time. Reminds me a bit of Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, one of my favorite books.

Set priorities.

You make time for what’s important. Life as a runner is important to me because it’s a

healthier way to live, and it keeps me grounded mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Back when I was reading a book a week, people used to ask how I had the time.

I made the time because it was important to me. We all have the same 24 hours in a day,

and it’s up to us how we use them.

Be compassionate.

We can be hard on ourselves and others with negativity, doubt, and judgment or we

can be compassionate and offer kindness towards ourselves and others. Whether

we make our race goals and our life goals by an established time or we pause to enjoy

the moment, we can connect with ourselves and others when we engage in positive,

compassionate, and kind talk and care.

Look inward for peace and contentment.

Long hours on the trail or the road offer time for contemplation and a freeing of the mind

from daily life worries. Running makes life better.

Be humble.

When you consistently run toward the mid-back of the pack, humbleness takes on new

meaning. It doesn’t matter how fast or when you cross the finish line. What matters is that

you’re out there running the same miles as everyone else. So, if you snap a selfie because

you’re proud of yourself, it’s ok because you’re humble in your endeavors. Sometimes you

can’t even believe what you’re capable of accomplishing!

Take action.

Instead of sitting around and hoping or wishing for a better life, you take action and hold

yourself accountable. No one can run the miles for you. No one can force you out of your

big red comfy chair and onto the road for a run. You’re the only one responsible for your

choices and actions.

Be grateful.

You learn the importance of smiling and being grateful for small things like the birds chirping,

the sun shining, the snow and ice-free running trail, the strong legs and body you have from

working hard. You run and enjoy it.

My ongoing running journey brought me a new life perspective for which I am grateful.

It also brought healthier eating habits and weight loss. I didn’t start running to lose weight

or to win any races. I started running to lose the parts of life that were headed straight downhill at accelerating speeds. I gained a new life--one that’s worth loving and worth living passionately. Each day I have a choice to make, and nine times out of ten, I choose joy (and running).

  Jan 2016                                Feb 2018