Tips for Recovering from Hurry Sickness

Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention. 

Be Astonished.

Tell about it.

---from Mary Oliver's poem Sometimes

After a middle of the night Emergency Room visit for my son and the hurry to create sub plans for my students earlier this week, I found myself asking--why am I always rushing around?  Always is hyperbole because I have managed to slow down the mental rush in the past three years. Even still, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of to-do lists, tasks to accomplish, and goals to tackle on a daily basis.

Learning to slow down and become more mindful has not come easily for me, yet the more I've learned to embrace life and enjoy every moment, the more I have lived with joy, hope, peace, and optimism, even in difficult moments.

Tips for Recovering from Hurry Sickness

1. Be mindful of that rushed feeling. Pause and listen. Pay attention to the moment.
In my classroom, I use at Pause and Listen as a call and response technique when I need to gain students' attention after they've been working collaboratively. I say "pause" and they reply "and listen." Prior to this year, I had never used a call and response technique, but I'm liking it because it works and it reminds us all to literally pause and listen for a minute.

2. Be realistic and accept help from others when it's offered, and set guidelines for what you can do instead of layering on more. In other words--say no more often. Three years ago I was stressed to the max with work, networking, and professional pursuits, caught up in the rat race that even educators succumb to at times. (e.g. If I could just get one more conference proposal accepted, schedule one more PD webinar, fly to one more meeting across the country, facilitate one more workshop, speak at another convention, write one more contract, draft one more article, etc.)

3. Create a gratitude list. Be specific with it. Something as simple as noticing the beautiful sky on a cold morning can change the way you feel at a given moment. Driving to work one day this week, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a gorgeous sunrise. I took that moment and allowed myself to feel grateful for the beauty and that gratefulness led to more feelings of gratitude as I noticed how much I appreciated the solitude on my drive, and then when I arrived at school, someone held the door open for me, and then a student brought me artwork she created for our kindness and gratitude bulletin board. One moment of gratitude led to many more moments of gratefulness throughout my day. 

Releasing Judgment

Standing in the hallway of my new school, on a break during a professional development day for new teachers, I listened to the nurse navigator as she relayed the news “you have cancer... I know you’re starting a new job and have limited time available, so I set up appointments with a surgeon and an oncologist for after school...”  I called my husband and knew there were others to call, but I needed to get back into the PD session.  I returned to the classroom and went through the motions for the remainder of our day while in my mind asking “why me? Why now?”

And then the self-judging took over. I compared myself to others, and I continued to ask why this was happening. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I run half-marathons. I eat nutritious foods. I lost 50 pounds in 3 years and maintain a healthy weight. I go for my annual check-ups. I am healthy and I feel better than ever. Why me?

Instead of trusting that it was all part of the plan for my life, I let fear rule, and I judged myself and my journey. It’s easy to do, and difficult to stop. I’ve been thinking more lately about judgment and ways and reasons for releasing it. Releasing judgment is an ongoing process, one in which I cycle in and out.

When we judge ourselves, we bring more stress and suffering thinking we’re not doing enough, being enough, etc. We “should” on ourselves, telling ourselves what we should or should not do. Judgment comes from fear, a fear that we are not worthy, but we are worthy. By surrendering ourselves to a higher power, we can find inner peace and freedom from judgment.

How do we release judgment?

• We understand that we don’t have all the answers.
• We remain flexible and open-minded, accepting of ourselves and others.
• We change our language and avoid dwelling on our mistakes.
• We practice compassion and remember that compassion and judgment cannot co-exist.
• We remember that we can't always believe what we think, especially about our need to be right.
• We value individuality and uniqueness.

What happens when we forget to do these things? We avoid dwelling on the negative or the fact that we believe we've fallen off track.  We acknowledge it, accept it, and move forward, forgiving ourselves and releasing judgment.

#ChooseJoy

5 Important Lessons Learned in 2018

If this best nine image looks a bit sloppy, it’s a perfect representation of 2018. Beautiful and messy. We often showcase the best "Instagram worthy" images to represent our lives, and I would contend that's fine as long as we remember there's always more to an image than meets the eye. Life is about perspective.

From switching teaching jobs, to supporting a son with an often debilitating illness, to surviving treatment for breast cancer, some might say 2018 was a tough year for me, and I wouldn’t disagree. But, I’ve also learned deeply about life.

Here's my perspective on what I learned in 2018.

1) Life is messy and beautiful and worth living.

Amidst the day to day living, you really never do know how much time you have on earth, so make the most it. Love fiercely, take risks, and say “no” if you don’t or can’t really do something.

2) Inspire others by being the best version of yourself.

Live authentically. Define your values. Keep an open mind. Remember, who you are evolves and changes because you are a work in progress, so you can only be the best version of yourself that you are at any given moment, and that's okay.

3) People you never expect to help often step forward to offer support, and people you expect to help might not.

When life obstacles come our way, keep your expectations for others in check because unrealistic expectations of others can lead to more hurt or over-thinking. Why didn't _____help out? I never would have expected ___to be so generous.

4) Commit to process over an event/milestone.

When life is going well or not going well, it's easy to get excited or to become eager about the next event or milestone. If, however, you commit to process rather than the event/milestone, you can develop a system of healthy habits and daily living that helps you throughout life. This means you need to understand your WHY (your motivation) for what you are doing. Why are you training for a half-marathon? Why are you saving money for a family vacation? Why are you cleaning up after the dog for the umpteenth time today? Why are you taxiing your kids all over town to meet up with their friends over Christmas Break?

5) The greatest gift you can offer others is your own joy and inner peace. 

Remember that you are uniquely and wonderfully made. You are loved. You are supported and protected. Remember that JOY is an attitude that requires courage, commitment, and strength. Even if you feel like you're lacking in those areas, you can choose where you place your focus. You can choose to be grateful for small things and in those small things you find more courage, strength, and commitment. #ChooseJoy